His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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