Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize