We're like a lot better than the average bears
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
NoShamevember. You game?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
