But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
