My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
