So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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