why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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