you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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