I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
