He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
