he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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