Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My liver just broke up with me...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
