Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
