somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
