I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
