In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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