He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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