i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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