Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
