Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
