I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
