At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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