I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
