Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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