I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
