So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
