it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
