I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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