Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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