I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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