I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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