If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize