Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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