Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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