i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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