shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
