so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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