I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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