I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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