when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I smell stomach acid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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