just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize