i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
