on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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