drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
