please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
