how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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