Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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