i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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