You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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