I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
