So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize