two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
