just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
