Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
