my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
and she was petting her beer can
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
