Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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