Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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