grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
