I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
