Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
