Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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