New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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